Lean into the practice of gratitude podcast notes

This week as I was studying more I found one other way that we can keep ourselves from the more we are searching for that maybe you haven’t thought of. In fact, in this one area, if we don’t get our act together we can disqualify ourselves from getting the more we seek, even if we are seeking the right more. You want me to tell you how you may be disqualifying yourself from getting more. We disqualify ourselves from more when we aren’t grateful for the more we already have.

Generally, as a culture, we aren’t great at gratitude.

I got a hold of a book this week that I love called The Gratitude Diaries by Janice Kaplan. It’s a New York Times Bestseller. Let me give you a few stats on the state of gratitude in our country.

The survey I had recently done, funded by the John Templeton Foundation, had shown that most of us suffer from a huge gratitude gap. We know we should be grateful, but something holds us back. In the survey, 94 percent of Americans thought people who are grateful are also more fulfilled and lead richer lives. But less than half the people surveyed said they expressed gratitude on any regular basis.

Which of the following statements are you more likely to make
My car is running great right now!
My car just broke down!

I’m so glad my boss employees me
My boss is a huge jerk

My head is clear and pain free
I have a headache

Thank you God for hot water
My hot water heater exploded

My intestinal track is working flawlessly today
My stomach hurts

It seems to me that we have programmed ourselves to find the negative.

If you look through the Old Testament you will find story after story of the people of Israel getting blessed by God over and over and over. Rarely, however are they grateful. Because of this they miss out on so much God has to offer.
A couple days out of being saved from slavery, the people were ungrateful and complained that they didn’t have any food. They begged God to go back to Egypt.

They were ungrateful for the promised land God provided because it was already inhabited so they wandered the desert for 40 years.

Once they got on their journey God fed them daily. Over time they were ungrateful for manna in the wilderness. So God provided them with birds to eat and everyone got sick

Their ungrateful heart kept them from the more God wanted to give them.

“Because you did not serve the Lord your God with joy and a glad heart, for the abundance of all things; 48 therefore you shall serve your enemies whom the Lord will send against you, in hunger, in thirst, in nakedness, and in the lack of all things.” Deuteronomy 28:47,48

Ingratitude disqualifies us from all the more God wants to give us.

The author of The Gratitude Diaries did a focus group with different age groups to discuss the findings of gratitude research. Older groups got excited about the potential of gratitude to change their lives but younger groups didn’t share their enthusiasm. Let me read you a sampling

These sessions were completely different. College-age kids (and those in their early twenties, just starting careers) were struggling so hard to define themselves that they couldn’t look beyond their own shadows. Many seemed almost offended by the whole concept of gratitude. “I hate that feeling of I owe you something,” said Greg, a twenty-two-year-old living in Boulder, Colorado, who took part in one of the discussions. “I don’t like receiving gifts or acts of kindness, because they just make me feel awkward.”

The other millennials in Greg’s group quickly agreed. And they made it very clear that the people they really didn’t want to feel obligated to were their parents. One young woman literally wrinkled her nose when asked about being grateful to her family. “I can be grateful to the counter guy at the deli, maybe. But my parents are just doing what nature intended. Even chimps take care of their children.”

Ah, yes. Parents as chimps. If we’re just fulfilling our biological imperative, why would our children say thanks? Part of the kids’ biological imperative was to develop independence, and gratitude somehow felt antithetical to that. The kids in the focus groups were still at an age where they needed parental help, but they wanted to pretend they didn’t. Greg said that when he couldn’t afford an apartment, his dad offered to pay the security deposit. “I didn’t like it because the whole point was to live on my own. I took the money, but only with spite,” he said.

First let me say this. I’m not telling you this to take a shot at millennials. I personally refuse to use that word because it defines an entire group of people based on bad characteristics of a few. That’s not what this is. Let me also say this. If you’re an older person like me, we have a part in any issues they have. We created the “everyone gets a trophy” generation. Here’s my point in reading that segment from that book.

Let’s just say that Greg was your child. He can’t get into an apartment so you generously offer to pay for the security deposit. How would your attitude change about little Greggie if you found out that his attitude was, “I’ll take your money but I’ll only do it with spite.” How willing would you be to Venmo little Greggie money next time he gets in trouble? How excited would you be to help him pay for a new transmission? If little Greggie was my kid the bank would be closed.

What if your daughter was willing to thank the guy at the deli counter for the pastrami sandwich but didn’t want to thank you for paying for college? Any interest in getter her a ticket to fly abroad after graduation? Taking her to LuLu Lemon for a shopping spree? Sorry honey. Dad’s done footing the bill for you.

Ingratitude disqualifies us from getting more. It’s just the way the world works.

In the time we have remaining I want to look at one character who’s defining characteristic is gratitude. His name is David. I know you’ve heard of him. He stayed the giant Goliath. He became king of Israel. He met a girl named Bathsheba on match.com. That was a mistake.

The bible gives us a full 360 degree view of David’s life. Based on what I found this week it is not unreasonable to think that the defining characteristic of David’s life is gratitude.

Here’s how I came to that conclusion. I did some word searches through he book of Psalms for words that express gratitude. This is what I found.

27 times he uses the word thanks or thanksgiving
57 times he uses the word joy
43 times uses the word rejoice
33 times uses the word glad
69 times uses the word sing
182 times uses the word praise
35 times uses the word exalt
4 times glorify
8 times glorious
16 times he uses the word wonderful
11 times he uses the word awesome
86 times uses the word great
6 times majestic
4 times happy
161 times uses the word love or loving
33 times uses the word unfailing
71 times uses the word faithful or faithfulness
43 times speaks of the Lord as a refuge

In fairness, David did not write all the Psalms but he wrote the majority of them and inspired the rest of them. Based on simply a word count, the defining characteristic of David is gratitude.

He’s be the guy that when you ask him how he’s doing every morning he says “Too blessed to be stressed.” You know that guy? “How’s your day?” “Just another slice of paradise.” “If I was doing any better I’d have to be two people.”

Then the people asked for a king, and he gave them Saul son of Kish, of the tribe of Benjamin, who ruled forty years. After removing Saul, he made David their king. God testified concerning him: ‘I have found David son of Jesse, a man after my own heart; he will do everything I want him to do.’ “From this man’s descendants God has brought to Israel the Savior Jesus, as he promised. Acts 13:21-23

How is David described? A man after God’s own heart. God loved this man. He delighted in lavishing on him because he was grateful. Here’s another way we know that God loved David. 14 times when Jesus is described in the gospels he is referred to as The Son of David.

Let me tell you something. God liked this guy. I think the reason he liked this guy so much is because gratitude was his defining characteristic. He couldn’t open his mouth without giving thanks to God. Let me just give you a small sampling of the gratitude of David.

Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.

You, Lord, are a shield around me, my glory, the One who lifts my head high

For what you have done I will always praise you in the presence of your faithful people. And I will hope in your name, for your name is good.

I will present my thank offerings to you. For you have delivered me from death and my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before God in the light of life

I will sing of you among the peoples. For great is your love, reaching to the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies. 

I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble. You are my strength, I sing praise to you; you, God, are my fortress, my God on whom I can rely

On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night. Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.”

You, God, are my God, earnestly I seek you; I thirst for you, my whole being longs for you, in a dry and parched land where there is no water. I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory. Because your love is better than life

Remember just a moment ago when I told you that the Psalms tell us what David was feeling in the difficult times of his life. I chose these words very carefully. Each of the lines I read to you came out of David’s mouth when life was at it’s very worst.

Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.

That’s from Psalm 34. Written David was on the run from king Saul who was trying to kill him and he pretended to be insane in front of Abimilek.

For what you have done I will always praise you in the presence of your faithful people. And I will hope in your name, for your name is good.

That’s Psalm 52 when Doeg the Edomite treacherously revealed his location to Saul so the king could go and kill him

I will present my thank offerings to you. For you have delivered me from death and my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before God in the light of life

That’s Psalm 56. When the Philistines seized him in Gath

I will sing of you among the peoples. For great is your love, reaching to the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies.

That’s Psalm 57 when David fled from Saul and holed up in a cave to save his life from Saul and his armies

On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night. Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.”
That’s Psalm 63:1-7 when David was in the desert of Judah. It’s kind of like Lancaster. I think he was at a softball tournament.

You, Lord, are a shield around me, my glory, the One who lifts my head high

That’s Psalm 3. Wrote that when he was fleeing his son Absalom. You see Absalom wanted to be king so he sought to kill his own father.

An article in the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology evaluating all the literature in the field concluded that gratitude may have the highest connection to mental health and happiness of any of the personality traits studied. The conclusion: “Around 18.5 per cent of individual differences in people’s happiness could be predicted by the amount of gratitude they feel.”

Think about that for a second. If you’re getting a C in life right now. Right around 75%. If you add gratitude to your life that bumps you up 18.5% and that’s a solid A.